really...

sometimes i just wanna lay && cry my eyes out.. then never open them again.
im obvoulsy a bad person. im obviously bad for everyone.

i have never once wanted to make someone hurt... nor have i ever wanted to hurt thier feelings...
but im obviously good at it...

fml.

Death isn't a dream...

my nana died the 13th. i left school the 9th. && got to the hospital that mornning at 1am. it was rough. she looked... scary. it hurt cuz she could respond to me. a week b4 her death her last living brother past away. the day of his funeral, she was in the funeral home (and had been for some time), when she a had a massive stroke. - now my nana has delt with lung cancer, brain cancer, strokes, && many other compliactions for all of her life. - but this stroke was the one that took her life. b4 this had happened they had done cancer markeres on her... her cancer markers came back extremely HIGH. ..... 48. we know she had tohave been infected head to toe, considering when she had lung cancer her markers were only 21. - this stroke took my nana away. however, it did bring together our family. it brought together ppl i never knew existed. ppl who look like me! it was amazing to look around && see where all my personality came from.....
though her death was hard. && at the funeral i read aloud a poem i wrote for her... she loved my writtings. so i read it aloud && it felt good. ididn't cry much.... i had to be strong for others.. && only one of my sisters got to come.. the other lives to far away. the one who lived to far away was the one closest to our nana. though we all did love her. its hard being back at school... but i will make it. this; school, is wat nana wanted for me, my future && allthose who will one day walk in my direction. R.I.P. <3

up && leave like the rest...

you left me. no kiss. no explaination. just like that.

i had a rough night. my emotions were so crazy; i had to escape. i drank so much lastnight.

my heart felt sooo amazing. i love him. but im not what he needs; which hurts because i try to be the besteveryone tells me i deserve better...

i love him. he is so special to me. idk what i ever did wrong.  *TEAR*