the ones i never thought of...

i was thinking a lot today....
&& the i realized that the ppl you expected to be there in your life; the ones you thought would be there forever holding you up. encouraging you && loving you. they are NOT here. its the ones i never expected. the ones i thought were gone forever.

like today, an old foster parent i had 4 years ago took me all over to get my id && paperwork i needed to get my apartment. its crazy.. i never thought she cared. but she does.

im shocked cuz my adopted mom && dad are gone. && the foster parents a expected... they are gone.

&& so i sit here, happy i now know who is what. i love those in my life now. i love them dearly.

i can't wait to get in this apartment with Mathias. its gonna be a place we have where we can get away from all the struggles && stresses. && i know, i know. ive heard it all." thats so bad brii. you don't need to live with him. you'll end up prego." but i know that thats not gonna happen. im taking those steps so that it won't. im an adult now, though i know im not ready... but i am. && i am grown up compared to the 14 year old i once was. i've learned my lessons. && now im moving on. i'll make more mistakes, thats a positive. i just have a faith in myself i can not screw up to much. i have faith i will make my life. i know i can. im strong. i've made it through much much worse.

technology WILL take over.

this world is drastically falling away from comunnication through words. we are losing ourselves to technology. we are becoming dependant on technology everyday of our lives. && yes i know this is technology, blogging that is. but honestly, i mean my brother who was in 4th grade came home with homework that was meant for him to learn how to use a calculator that I used my senior year. im not agianst technology, so don't get me wrong. but i am concerned for future generations. basic things such as math, and spelling.... no one will know, 'cuz of the technology we have. its quite sad.

Boof.

she && i have soo many inside jokes. we have so many memories. she is my little sister. she has grown close to my heart. i'll forever cherish our relationship.

from all the tears i cried. to the screams i made. she was there. sometimes crying with me. others screaming along. she's been there.

she held my hand when i needed a friend. she hooked me up with people i barely knew. yet i knew she loved me. she has always worried bout me before herself. she has an amazing heart. she has so much to offer this world. i can't wait to see it all [:

she has been my smile in the rain. my laughter in the thunder, my warmth in the snow.
i love you girl.

the worst kind of betray

i am sitting here. with never ending tears. someone has tried to tear him apart from me. they want him to leave. though, he jas told me that he won't. he tells me he believes me. && i trust him to not lie to me. he's been hurt, really bad. im not one to do that. he has become my everything. he is the fire in my soul. the shine in myt spirit. he IS the LIFE in my being. mathias is my world. i would do never ending deeds for him; no matter what it is. this man has stolen my heart. he has made me see so much of who i am. he's helped me see so much in people......

but to think i could ose him. its unbearable. he says he won't leave. but im still scared. i feel like this crap that got started... its slowly pulling him. && in all honesty. he is my ONE TRUE LOVE. idk what i would do without him. perhaps, i should let the day go by, and see what all happens.

but i love him. he has my heart, soul, spirit, && being wrapped in his hands.
i'll love him always && forever.....

&& as he would say next; forever till eternity.

Hello

My name is brii. this blog here has been made for me to.. express myself. i don't have trouble with that, for the most part. But i don't get them out the way they should be let out. so i have decided to write.

I've always felt writing is the best way to ecsape. i love writing. i feel that writing is an dedication to the past && an obligation to our future.

about me....

im 18.

you can call me brii.

I have a beautiful boyfriend named mathias* names will be changed.

i was adopted at a very old age.

life has been rough.

i was in the foster care system for about 9 years.

my bio mother took her life AFTER i was taken away. 3 years after, to be exact.

my dream was to become a psychologist for teens in the mental hospitals.

im very outspoken; to hide the real mess inside.

im loud, i love acting. my teacher brought my passion for it into the open.

i love kids. love.love.love.

so as for this blog;

we shall got to know each other through time.