and we're off!
to yet again, another night full of laughter and smiles; kisses and deep hugs.
lets get it started shall we?
it began with tears; and an argument. we both ended up crying and then we laughed- it was a much needed cry.. a cleansing cry; a TWO HOUR cleanings cry... but, none the less- needed. it was the most open we have been with each other- it was sweet more than hurtful- yet, still an argument.
conclusion: we love each other and will work together to make it all better. i think its a good start to where we are headed in life.
we went to see 'The Big Year' and it was cute, we snuggled during the movie- and picked on each other; just as we always do- only this time, in the middle of it- he looked at me and started crying.. "youre the most beautiful person i have ever seen, met or known, i love you" is all he said.. and i melted (:
after the movie- as we were walking to the car.. he kept walking straight, i, being only me, demanded to know where we were going and all he did was smile and pull me along. -- i love this about him, he can keep my attention without words nor actions... just a smile.
we walked to cornerstone to potty- then to the pier where he grabbed my hand and danced with me. He's been so good at that-- letting go and having fun. (my fav thing to do is dance with him.. so he surprises me every now and again and twirls me in his hands)
we laughed- played tag on the stairs and danced... it was the night for love- and i felt it; fresh, clean, and crisp.
after an hour we left and got in the car- i snuggled up to him as we drove.. listening to his voice singing along to the radio drowning out the world around us.
its nights like these i realize he is worth it all; good bad and nasty-ugly. (: he is my prince charming.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
the beauty in it
good god- we have been at each others throats..
its me- its him, its us. and you know- no matter what we argue about we always make up. most of the time ppl think we are fighting but its just us communicating.
but we have been fighting and its annoying- its over stupid shit too. Idk- its weird cause we both have to be right, and we both want the last word. I've been working on me and he has started working on himself- i feel that we both need patience and the ability to move on.
but the beauty in it all is the fact that we can be open with one another- we can express our feelings without holding back. its the first time i've felt i could do that. I feel safe and happy. i love him with all of me- and that itself is a lot for me to say.... its not the 'oh i love you, youre my bf' its the Im in love- head over heals through the stars and over the moon. I cant wait till we can start our lives together. this is all new to me- this whole working at a relationship- giving and taking... but i love it. i do. i love him and more than anything, its real and its exciting.
ive never felt that i needed anyone- and i still dont... but i want him. i want him through the good- the bad- and the down right nasty, ugly, shit that happens. he is worth everything... including the conservative family that criticizes us- and runs us through the dirt.
its me- its him, its us. and you know- no matter what we argue about we always make up. most of the time ppl think we are fighting but its just us communicating.
but we have been fighting and its annoying- its over stupid shit too. Idk- its weird cause we both have to be right, and we both want the last word. I've been working on me and he has started working on himself- i feel that we both need patience and the ability to move on.
but the beauty in it all is the fact that we can be open with one another- we can express our feelings without holding back. its the first time i've felt i could do that. I feel safe and happy. i love him with all of me- and that itself is a lot for me to say.... its not the 'oh i love you, youre my bf' its the Im in love- head over heals through the stars and over the moon. I cant wait till we can start our lives together. this is all new to me- this whole working at a relationship- giving and taking... but i love it. i do. i love him and more than anything, its real and its exciting.
ive never felt that i needed anyone- and i still dont... but i want him. i want him through the good- the bad- and the down right nasty, ugly, shit that happens. he is worth everything... including the conservative family that criticizes us- and runs us through the dirt.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
three days off
my rocker it feels like...
However Mike has had it rough too- his family... they are all.. not worth the energy. Great, right? ugh- never ever ever before have i been so hated for my skin color and where i came from... like- i just want to scream and kick and fight and just let lose. they say some of the most hurtful things - about me to mike. It makes me furious and out of control and then.... there i am- not completely shocked- just.. dumbfounded they would be okay with mike being unhappy.
verbally abusive. and mean. its sad and frustrating, just- i wish i could help them see how much he is being hurt by them...
However Mike has had it rough too- his family... they are all.. not worth the energy. Great, right? ugh- never ever ever before have i been so hated for my skin color and where i came from... like- i just want to scream and kick and fight and just let lose. they say some of the most hurtful things - about me to mike. It makes me furious and out of control and then.... there i am- not completely shocked- just.. dumbfounded they would be okay with mike being unhappy.
verbally abusive. and mean. its sad and frustrating, just- i wish i could help them see how much he is being hurt by them...
Sunday, October 2, 2011
happily ever after and the ring
for two weeks he has been hinting about asking me to marry him.. and
tonight… he made me realize how serious he is. I love him so much (: he
is the ONE for me. I know God sent him to me- ive been through so much
in my life- and i feel that God has given me mike for all the struggle
and hard work and taking care of everyone else.
mikey is my soul mate- best friend- lover- prince charming- my happily ever after (:
i love him. Next week he is proposing… im scared. but excited to wear HIS ring.
call me crazy but this is everything.
If mikey gets me that ring i will feel like SHIT. complete and utter shit... I'd take it dont get me wrong... i LOVED that ring, its my dream ring... i just dont want him spending that kind of money on me.
I love him so much... and he told me tonight he was scared of what his dad will say.. he said he's scared of what his family will say... but he also told me he doesnt care.. he said he's ready for the next move- and honestly, i am too... its scarey as hell- but im so ready. He is the one for me and i know it. he is my sunshine in the abyss. i cant believe im saying this but im ready for our happily ever after(:
mikey is my soul mate- best friend- lover- prince charming- my happily ever after (:
i love him. Next week he is proposing… im scared. but excited to wear HIS ring.
call me crazy but this is everything.
If mikey gets me that ring i will feel like SHIT. complete and utter shit... I'd take it dont get me wrong... i LOVED that ring, its my dream ring... i just dont want him spending that kind of money on me.
I love him so much... and he told me tonight he was scared of what his dad will say.. he said he's scared of what his family will say... but he also told me he doesnt care.. he said he's ready for the next move- and honestly, i am too... its scarey as hell- but im so ready. He is the one for me and i know it. he is my sunshine in the abyss. i cant believe im saying this but im ready for our happily ever after(:
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