the ones i never thought of...

i was thinking a lot today....
&& the i realized that the ppl you expected to be there in your life; the ones you thought would be there forever holding you up. encouraging you && loving you. they are NOT here. its the ones i never expected. the ones i thought were gone forever.

like today, an old foster parent i had 4 years ago took me all over to get my id && paperwork i needed to get my apartment. its crazy.. i never thought she cared. but she does.

im shocked cuz my adopted mom && dad are gone. && the foster parents a expected... they are gone.

&& so i sit here, happy i now know who is what. i love those in my life now. i love them dearly.

i can't wait to get in this apartment with Mathias. its gonna be a place we have where we can get away from all the struggles && stresses. && i know, i know. ive heard it all." thats so bad brii. you don't need to live with him. you'll end up prego." but i know that thats not gonna happen. im taking those steps so that it won't. im an adult now, though i know im not ready... but i am. && i am grown up compared to the 14 year old i once was. i've learned my lessons. && now im moving on. i'll make more mistakes, thats a positive. i just have a faith in myself i can not screw up to much. i have faith i will make my life. i know i can. im strong. i've made it through much much worse.